Windfall fines

I shall shortly be introducing legislation to make it an offence to allow windfall fruit to remain uncollected. Teams of inspectors will tour the land counting windfalls and imposing on-the-spot fines of 50 pence per fruit. To prevent evasion it will become a capital crime to fell a fruit tree without a permit. Exemptions will be available for those who keep sheep or pigs in their orchards.